Imported Wives, anyone?

Malaysian men prefer foreign women as wives. I wonder if this is a sign of the times. How many local men have actually married foreign women? Are these men representative of the larger majority of available males?

I certainly would not want a foreign woman for a wife. The cultural clash of two persons from different worlds is not something I want to confront nor grasp with each waking moment.

For the men who took in foreign wives, I wonder what made them plunge into such matrimonial abyss. Is it because they really cannot sucessfully woo a local woman? Is it because the local women available to them are dowdy in appearance and thus deemed undesirable? Is it because the local women are too demanding in their criteria for rating a man as a suitable catch? Or rather, is getting a sweet young lolita as a trophy wife the main attraction here? The local men who took in foreign wives are mostly advanced in age. For the foreign women the decision to 'export' themselves is mainly a marriage of convenience – an escape to a better life. I am sure a matured genteel man is not uppermost in their minds as to how much the dowry her family will get and the monthly remittance thereafter.

For the local women who are left on the shelf (pardon the expression) , perhaps some soul searching may be in order. The saying 'do not judge lest you be judged yourself' certainly rings true here. No doubt, a woman with both a good education and career and/or family fortune will not want to marry below her station But as time passes, one's criteria (whether man or woman) has to be flexible. A woman in her twenties can afford to be choosy, justifiably so I may add. However if she is still single in her late thirties or early forties and still as demanding in her choice of life partner, something is out of whack here. I am not saying she should get hitched to the first man who even glanced her way. Forget the young notions of a rich handsome man to sweep her off her feet. A good man may not be rich nor handsome. At this point in life what both sexes need is a good companion to keep loneliness at bay in later years.

Ditto for the men. Maybe they were too career or business minded in their youth so that marriage was not an option then. Or they were too busy playing the field in younger years to realise that time and tide waited for no man? Or are they just the rejects that no woman in her right mind would want?

Talking to older friends who are single, I noticed a reticence towards matrimony at their age. A common dismissal is – why get married in the face of high and rising divorce rates? To me it is like hoisting a white flag before riding into battle. The game is over before it has had a chance to begin. Do you really wish to be one of the statistics?

I am no sociologist and can offer no researched data to support my views. I have probably opened myself to a lot of brickbats in expounding my views thus. But whatever it is, do not shy away from exploring what opportunity fate or divine providence has planned for you. Tis better to have loved and lost than have never loved at all. Something like that............