Charity

Charity begins at home ? Is that really true?

I believe most people are charitable at heart; expressing empathy and reaching for their wallets at the same time. Very commendable indeed, you certainly won't lose faith in the human race. The milk of human kindness, so very heart warming. Yet it is this same kindness that are often exploited by the unscrupulous or the outright crooked.

Whenever disasters occur, relief aid bodies are quick to appeal for public support. The shock of the disaster serves as a wake up call for people to rally behind relief efforts being made. Appeals are made for donations in cash and kind by the aid bodies. But how much of this aid support actually reach those in most of it?

Rumours abound about cash and goods donated that are re-routed into heaven knows where. It never reaches the intended parties who had suffered most from the disaster. These rumours are more often than not probably true. Cash that are readily donated are not properly accounted for and often disappear into thin air. Same for goods like food provisions and other stuff – they are sold by agency insiders for quick cash gains that go straight into their personal pockets. It is of like donating more to a crook after he had robbed you.

If you are serious about doing your bit for the unfortunate, try to go the extra mile. Give your cash directly to the sufferers, never to a middle man be it an agency or otherwise. Better still, help the affected party to purchase whatever he needs to recover his life. You can also buy food provisions from wholesale sources and then send it directly to the disaster areas. This way, the end users will be ensured of getting the help and support they sorely need.

When donating to a person who needs money for medical treatment or surgery, it is better to pay directly to the appointed medical center handling the treatment You can then be assured that your donation will not be mis-appropriated for other purposes by the patient's relations or friends. One never knows.....

It is sad having to take such measures so that your donations will be used as intended but human nature being what it is; it makes sense. Being kind does not mean you have to open yourself to being conned.

Be kind and generous, do give till it hurts but do it wisely.

Local tv

Does anyone really watch local free-to-air television channels? Is it any wonder why paid satellite tv operator Astro is doing well? Is it any wonder why pirate dvds are selling like hotcakes?

Let's face it; local tv programmes are crap with only a few exceptions. Look at the shows aired by RTM1 & 2 – absolutely crap. There seems to be forums everyday where self professed armchair 'experts' discourse at length on some social issue. Dullsville! No one in their right mind will watch such programmes unless they want to expire from an overdose of boredom. But I can't really blame RTM for producing such crappy shows as it probably operates under a tight budget. After all, forums are the cheapest programmes to produce – just decide on a topic and invite some tom, dick or harry to talk at length. Probably don't even have to pay him, he'd be more than happy to pose his ugly mug in front of the camera. Low cost but it is a doubled edged sword; if fewer people watch the programmes, then advertising revenue will be lower. The vicious circle continues, without any prospect of improving. Even the broadcast quality pales in comparison with the other channels – RTM broadcasts on the VHF band while other stations use UHF which sends out better broadcast signals. The colour and resolution just don't look right; in short it makes you want to channel surf away to another station. Even the newsreaders look boring; obviously RTM doesn't have much of a budget for attire as well. It would have closed shop ages ago were it not a government owned concern. We must also remember that we don't pay for a tv licence nowadays.

The commercial stations worth a bit of watching is Ntv7 and 8tv; especially the serialised crime and action shows from the US. Tv3 is slowly leaning towards more local content; hence you see more and more local dramas.

You must have noticed by now that there seems to be a pact among the different stations to break for commercials at exactly the same time. Of course it is easy to arrange this, after all Ntv7, Tv3, 8Tv and Tv9 are all owned by Media Prima. So much so that even RTM has caught on to the trick, breaking at about the same time. Viewers are forced to watch the irritating commercials; you can't be going off to the loo every 12-15 minutes, can you? Big problem if you do. It must also be said that such programmes would be impossible to watch for free if there weren't any advertising revenue.

The government has been encouraging more widespread usage and literacy of English. Yet even cartoon shows originally in the English language are dubbed in Malay. How are the young, especially Malay kids going to get more exposure in English? Something is not right here. It just doesn't measure up. It is understandable if shows originally in Japanese or other foreign languages are dubbed in Malay but for goodness sake please leave the English programmes alone. At this rate, English language literacy will actually go down instead of improving.

Ah well, the show must go on ............

Best friend.......

Next to a good human friend, a dog is the best companion. It gives you unconditional love and loyalty in return for just a bit of caring and food. It never questions or judges you much less nag at you.

I live in an apartment now so keeping a dog is out of the question. Have kept at least 5 dogs since childhood - couple of them got stolen, 1 died in accident, the rest died of old age. Chinese believe dogs bring luck; not sure about this but I can recall my life went very smoothly when I kept a dog. My life went doggone when I didn't have a doggy pet. In fact, a dog saved my life on the same day I took her from the animal shelter in Johor but that is a story for another day.

I like playing with friends' dogs. I also make frequent trips to big pet shops to view the puppies there. 'Aiya, tat bugger again! See but never buy, what a deadbeat!' - I bet this is what goes thru pet shop owners' minds whenever I pop around. Besides my love for the furry critters, seeing them is good therapy for my blood pressure. I feel more relaxed whenever I see a tail wagging bundle of fur. This obsession with dogs has gotten so bad that I have a folder named Cute Dogs in my computer, filled with doggy pictures culled from the internet. A stuffed toy puppy given by a friend some time back ranks among my prized mementos.

Next to pet shops, I try to go to animal shelters as much as possible. They need newspapers to line the cages, so I send over as much as I can. Better to give to the animal shelter than sell to the paper-lama-man for a pittance.

So if you have newspapers lying around, send them to an animal shelter such as PAWS near Subang airport. The critters will thank you for your kindness.

Woof, miaow ................

What price fidelity?

Fidelity. Nope, I am not talking about hi-fi, not being an audiophile. Marital fidelity, that is.

Alright, all of us have roving eyes- whether we are men or women. No harm looking when an excellent specimen of the opposite sex comes our way. See only, no touch, go ahead – indulge in your fantasies, when done; just go about your life as usual. No point rocking the boat when you are married, especially when you are happy with your spouse.

Yeah, real easy to preach all this gospel, right? You must think I am trying to be a monk or worse......

Lack of fidelity or outright unfaithfullness is the problem. Is it any wonder divorce rates are high and still climbing? I wonder. Of course there's always the the old standby whine – my spouse doesn't understand me, etc etc ad nauseam. Or is it just pure lust?

There is actually a medical term for sexual lust, read about it recently but just as conveniently, I forgot about it. There is a perverse addiction for variety, sexual types that is. Let's not kid ourselves that craving for affection drove a person to seek it out of wedlock. Just plain old sexual lust.

Let me tell you a real life story about Larry, an acquaintance of mine. Larry is in his mid- thirties, a permanent resident in Singapore. He is married with a young kid; his wife being a graduate and career woman. Problem is, Larry is a rake. I used to tease him that he has a better deal than Muslim men who are allowed to take up to 4 wives; because he has 5. Yessir, 1 common law wife and 4 mistresses – all in different towns over here; just so they don't bump into each other. Being a cunning guy, he calls all of them 'Dear', never by their names thereby avoiding the calamity of using the wrong name at any time! How's that for being wily, eh. Good measure actually, if ever any of them finds out he has been sowing his oats far and wide, they might just do a bobbit on him. Bobbit is a term coinedfrom a Ms. Bobbit who snipped off her hubby's cherished appendage when she discovered he was double timing her outside. Can't say I sympathise with him in this aspect.

All of Larry's mistresses believe she is the only one apart from his actual wife in Singapore. Talk about naivete. I guess it takes two hands to clap but let's not forget the background of the 4 mistresses; they were karaoke gals or aka ______ (you fill in the blank). I would have expected him to have better taste and judgement. Only money attracts these women, Larry had lots of it. Or at least he did until he started collecting mistresses like I collect Matchbox cars. Now he is way broke. The plot thickens - the women are now getting in the family way, one by one. His mating season. Last count, he already has 2 kids out of wedlock. Six additional mouths to feed, not forgetting another 2 in Singapore. Consolation is, he is contributing to a larger population in this fine land of ours. Properties that he bought in joint ownership with the women remain locked in limbo; he cannot sell them off to free up cash to fund his business; cos the gals are terrified that he will cast them aside with nothing left.

When the chickens come home to roost, that's when our Larry will find himself in deeper shit than now. What if one of the gals decide to slap him up with a paternity suit? Force him to furnish regular financial support to them and the kids. His legal wife may hear of his nefarious wanderings. Oh boy, that would be the day. Sure wouldn't want to be in his shoes then. Then again, he did chose to go and sin some more. The crap will most definitely hit the fan.

You reap what you sow. Problems; monumental ones, that is.

Never trust car mechanics

Have you ever realised that auto mechanics in this country are not proficiency certified or qualified? Almost any joker can profess to be a mechanic; just wield a suitable wrench under a zinc roofed shack and you are in business. Trusting folks will then come to you with their auto woes and you will work your magic on their beloved vehicles then send them on their way, happier but much poorer for the experience. When your reputation as a fix-all and cure-all mechanic grows, then you can start to charge more and perhaps fleece some suckers in the process too. No wonder the common reference to mechanics all over of having to make large boat instalments – they had to fleece you in order to afford their weekend cruises.

The best story of mechanic fleecing came from the US of A. A young lady sent her car for routine servicing and ended up being charged for 'turn indicator fluid'. What a scam, the mechanic should get an award for inventiveness. No wonder I couldn't locate the turn indicator fluid reservoir on my own engine bay!

All these funny situations aside, mehcanics must realise that their clients' lives are in their hands , should they ever bungle a repair job. I have been twice lucky, coming out unscathed from inept mechanics who almost killed me through their lack of care and skill.

Situation 1 – The fuel tank of my car was removed to facilitate replacement of drive train and suspension parts while the vehicle was still under warranty. When the tank was re-installed, the damned mechanic did not tighten the front 2 bolts sufficiently. Said bolts decided to take a hike of their own one fine evening while I was driving the car. The tank hung down and scraped the road pavement and made the appropriate sounds as well.It so happened that I was driving at a sedate speed along a kampung road then and nothing disastrous happened apart a slightly abraded tank and wasting a few hours to locate the bolts to fasten the tank back onto the the car. I shuddered at what would have happened if I was running at speed down the highways and the bolts elected to depart at that time. I should add that the fuel tank was full too at that time.

Situation 2 - While having my tyres rotated, I asked the mechanic to check and repack the front wheel bearing grease.. When the job was done , I proceeded on my way. After about 50kms, the car suddenly felt very heavy and refused to budge although the engine was turning over nicely. I got out and saw the front right tyre/wheel slanted at an angle, smoke pouring from it as well. Got it towed to a workshop – seems the bearing got loose while in motion. Damage – a warped wheel, ruined tyre, broken knuckle , warped brake rotor, broken calliper & hub, trashed bearing, et al. I was truly shaken and stirred, thanking my lucky stars it didn't happen while I was on the highway. I could have easily flipped over several times and burned, the car having a high center of gravity.

Lest anybody suggest the car was jinxed, let me clarify it was a different vehicle on both occasions. Both mishaps happened because the mechanics concerned were careless. I could have paid for their errors with my life.

The only good thing to emerge from the above episodes was my knowledge and hands on experience of auto mechanical workings. I have learnt to perform detailed checks on my car, especially after routine servicing. Never trust a mechanic to have you best interests at heart, they are only after your cash!

El Cheapo moisturiser, anyone?

A friend of mine, let's call him Henry; recently told me that good ol' cooking oil ie. palm oil can be a good skin moisturiser. I was quick to discount his claim as Henry is well known as a skinflint, didn't have the heart to call him Mr Scrooge though.

As he spoke on the merits of it, a thought flashed thru my mind that olive oil is widely used to smoothen the skin. So why not palm oil? Seems ol' Henry has learnt that palm oil contains Vitamin E that is supposedly good for the skin. I asked if palm oil isn't rather oily to the touch to which he advised rubbing the oil into the skin.Just a few drops will do, no need to slather yourself until you resemble the proverbial orang minyak (oily man).

I took up his recommendation (not without some misgivings)as I have rather dark forearms as a result of driving around in short sleeves or rolled-up cuffs. Skin on said forearms also seem to be a bit dry, so what the heck. The oil was sitting in my larder not doing a thing. Did it once a day; in the evening. After a week, sure enough the skin didn't seem so dry now. I noticed that the slightly oily touch dissipated after about an hour.

So waddaya know? I did some browsing at a pharmacy and saw that most so called moisturisers use a mineral oil base derived from oil in the ground. Surely a vegetable based oil can do a similar or better job? Well, I am going to continue this little experiment. If it really works, this may be the cheapest moisturiser around. Bottle the oil as a revolutionary organic moisturiser and sell it by the truckload to vain old men (nyuk) if not to little ladies. Wonder if the same palm oil has any sun protection factor (spf) as well; can hawk it as a sun tan lotion too. My bizness instinct has kicked in !

Btw, no ants or roaches snacked on the arms of your friendly neighborhood guinea pig!

Feeling down, depressed .... try this

Ferget the booze and valium when you are feeling down. Try reading this :


DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.


Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.


Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.


Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.


You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.


With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.



(reportedly from old St.Paul's Church, Baltimore)

Works for me every time. Cheaper than going to the shrink too.

Exotic foods?????

Being a Chinese myself, I am sometimes bewildered by the enthusiasm shown on exotic foods. Dishes such as abalone, shark fin, etc are greedily devoured as if they are the best tasting dishes without understanding what goes into these preparations.

The exotic food mentioned here are over vaunted, in my opinion. Most types of abalone are bland tasting in their natural state; cooked ones derive the flavour from being simmered long in a superior stock- the taste coming from the stock rather than the shellfish itself. Same with shark fins, virtually tasteless without the broth or stock in which it is served. It is just cartilage from a shark; softened by lengthy soaking and simmering. Forget tales about sharks never getting cancerous growths, they do get tumours at times. Heavy metals also tend to accumulate in shark finnage, so be forewarned. Paying thru your nose for bits of flavoured cartilage is certainly not my idea of a great tasting dish. The widespread consumption of shark fins also brings about
ecological imbalance in underwater communities that leads to an irreversible decline. Live sharks often have their fins hacked off and thown back overboard to die. How would you like it if your arms and legs were chopped off for a special dish?

Taste aside, I suspect that most consumers of these exotic foods readily admit to themselves that it is not that great tasting or worthwhile but still consume it from a prestige standpoint; they want people to think they are well off and can afford such dishes. Prestige??? Foolish perhaps, but definitely not prestigious. Coughing up a prince's ransom just so you win others' approval is foolishness of the highest degree. It is so sad.

Perhaps you may be better off spending your cash on bird nests and sea cucumber as these have been shown to be nutritionally superior. Just don't go overboard or the prices of these items will skyrocket till they reach the outer reaches of the universe.

Traditions & Commerce

Someone once remarked ;' When you are flush with cash, everyday is Christmas'. I would add that when you are in love, everyday is Valentine's Day.

It is not a new opinion that certain festivals are over commercialised. Festivals like Valentine's Day, Moon Cake festival, Fifth lunar month (bak chang) are some of them.

Florists and gift shops make a killing whenever Valentine's Day comes around on February 14. Romantic restaurants serving special twosome menus also rake it in on this day. What you pay for a single rose stalk will easily get a dozen in other periods. What you pay for a lovey-dovey dinner will easily feed a poor family for a month. I am not unromantic but believe that romance should be sustained all year long; not just spiking on this particular day.

When the 8th lunar month rolls around, moon cake makers get a windfall that can easily sustain them for the rest of the year. They start selling these confectionery at the start of the seventh lunar month; so sales actually span about two months. A baker whom I know personally admitted that profit margins are at least 200%. So a moon cake that sells at Rm10 cost only rm3.00 to make at most. Worse spin off effect is that salted egg prices jump during this period due to its overwhelming use by moon cake makers; as the yolk is a popular filling. Same with prices of lotus seeds. No problem if some stocks are unsold, just recycle the fillings for other confectionery.

Same with bak kua (barbecued meat) that is sold during this period. It is very hard to get bak kua that is actually sliced from a chunk of meat. Those sold now are just flat slices of minced meat with lots of oil, salt, sugar, coloring, nitrates and nitrites in them – a veritable concoction of chemicals. Lucky that they are expensive and we don't eat it year round; it is certainly not something the doctor prescribes.

Bak chang or rice dumplings are nice to eat, to me they are also a comfort food that bring back fond memories. I used to help my mom sort the glutinous rice and mung beans, wash the leaves and then, when the process is completed help her to devour the bakchang doubly quick. Somehow, the ones your mom made always seem to taste the best; the bought ones never able to measure up to dear old mom's labour of love. How I wish my mom still had the energy to make them. My fondness for them is never satiated by bought bakchang as the makers stinge on ingredients and never steam them long enough. Terribly expensive too at minimum Rm3.50 each for the simplest ones. Buying them is akin to buying an insult with a slap thrown in for good measure. I have the recipe in my head but never got around to making them myself. Just plain lazy, I guess.

At the risk of being branded a renegade of traditions; I remain steadfast in my conviction that festivals are over commercialised by entrepreneurs out to make a fast buck.

Are you a junkie?

You may be a junkie without even knowing it. Or a painkiller dependent slob.

How? By eating local delicacies of course. Local fare such as nasi lemak, bak kut teh, nasi kandar. Heaven only knows what other foodstuffs  are guilty too.

A friend in JB who used to sell nasi lemak in KL told me that he regularly pops a handful of panadol (paracetamol) into the rice/water mix when boiling it. I jibed that he was trying to pull my leg but he swored that he kid me not. I countered that panadol tablets taste bitter, wouldn't the bitter taste be evident when the rice is done? It seems not; some kinda chemical change occurred during the boiling process, rendering the bitter taste non existent. Why then would someone put paracetamol into nasi lemak? The answer was it makes you feel better, paracetamol being a painkiller. Regular consumption of the doctored rice will lead to a feel good sensation, leaving you with a hankering for the particular nasi lemak joint. You won't feel good unless you have had a good dose of the rice with lauk (side dishes). Over the long term you certainly won't feel good with the liver having to process the drug. Liver failure is a real prospect here!

Horror stories abound in JB's nasi lemak joints. There was a popular shop in Taman Perling that opens only in the evenings, may still be around as I haven't passed it for over 3 years . This being a mamak joint, it is patronised mainly by Chinese diners. One popular story making the rounds then was that the food is charmed; the sambal being the prime suspect - a patron having come across the remnants of a used tampon in the sambal mix! Eeeyuck! Another variation was that someone saw toyol (little spirits) running among the dining patrons. I suspect that these stories were cooked up by envious competitors whose businesses weren't up to scratch. Enough said that I didn't feel up to trying the fare at this joint, but a friend who did told me that the food was no big deal.

Another shop was located along the seafront in Permas Jaya; lots of people can be seen waiting for it open up by 6pm. This I did try, coming away disgusted as the food was so ordinary and bland as not to merit the waiting. Saw people clamouring for the ayam goreng (fried chicken), tried it – it was like trying to swallow bits of dried jute bags. Perhaps the fengshui must be awfully good here; there's certainly lots of wind and water in the vicinity.

Bak kut teh or 'meat bone tea' is of course pork ribs in herbal soup. Some joints selling this dish do a roaring business while others regularly swat flies. Most of the time the herbal mix is a proprietary secret; the exact composition known only to the proprietor. He'd sew up the herbal mix in a cloth bag; boil the soup in the shop, then take the used bag home to dispose of it – thus preventing any would-be spy from learning the blend. Stories I heard include one where ganja is one of the ingredients in the magic bag of tricks. Some joints do not allow takeaways; to preclude you from doing a lab test. Drinking a soup where a narcotic has been simmered probably makes one feel good; you may not function well on days when you don't consume it. I don't know, bkt has never been a favorite with me; especially the JB version that is over infused with pepper and tastes rather bland similar to the Singapore version. Seems the Klang version is the authentic one as it originated here.

On opiates, nasi kandar cooks presumably used to add kas-kas when cooking curries. I heard it is seed from the poppy plant; how they imported it is another matter. People who regularly consume such curries would invariably fail urine drug tests even though they are not knowing drug users. Imagine a situation when a job seeker takes a urine test and is immediately labelled a drug user; I really sympathise with such poor buggers. This ingredient is probably not used anymore. I must admit to a hankering for fiery curries; maybe should get a urine test soon. But of course , I was brought up on a steady diet of curry and rice, must be my jaded taste buds, hmmmm.

There is no need to resort to underhand tricks if the food you serve is delicious and offers value for money. This will be my motto if I ever set up a food joint one fine day !
 

A hankering for the real thing ....

Something less serious, on my favorite subject – FOOD, Glorious food.

Good ol' chicken rice, you can't get it easily anymore. By this I mean chicken rice cooked the traditional way. A nice chicken stock is made from the legs, necks, etc and then used to boil the rice with fat you liposuctioned from the chooks; enhanced with ginger, salt, and other ingredients.. Rice cooked this way is nice enough to eat on its own, to borrow a phrase.

The chicken will be steamed not boiled as nowadays; no roast chicky for the true gourmand. Wonder who steams chickens the old fashioned way anymore. Steamed chooks actually taste sweeter as they retain the juices which are otherwise lost when boiled.

I recall when I was a wee kid my mum used to cook chicken rice for the whole gang on alternate Sundays. She reared her own chooks in a hutch I built for her at the back of the house; damn proud of it I was. She'd boil water and select the fattest unfortunate chook, pulled the feathers from the gullet area, then enlist the services of her most blood thirsty son namely yours truly here - the rest of her brood were too squeamish; and I'd blithely slit the poor bugger's throat while she held on to the squirming bird's legs and neck. Norman Bates's rival was on the prowl again! Now I do the squirming as I shudder at the thought of how I could do it then. It was by the grace of Providence I didn't graduate to become a serial killer.

Nostalgic, those were the days. Chicken rice you get now just don't taste as good anymore. The rice is boiled with bottled stock or cubes with margarine, coming out a sickly pale yellow and tasting as bad. Chickens are boiled and then immersed in cool water; ostensibly to improve texture. Old mamas will tell you to avoid such boiled chooks if you are in the midst of a coughing spell; don't really know why.

You ever thought how many plates of chicken rice can be served from just 1 carcass? I did, but never figured it out. Suffice to say, it is many. Vendors employ many tactics to squeeze out as many servings as they can. The breast meat is often cut into 2 layers as it is thick. One layer will have the original skin, then the second layer will be adorned by skin transplanted from another unsaleable part of the chook such as the back. Another trick is to smash the flat of the cleaver on the portion, squashing and loosening out the meat to make it look more substantial. This trick is the favorite of vendors in Johor Bahru as I have observed. I know as I grew up in ol' JB.

A must have condiment with this meal is ground chilli mix - made from chillies, garlic, lime juice, sugar and salt. Dip the chicken slices in this mix, heavenly taste. The mix you get from vendors are made with artificial vinegar or acetic acid, the taste is way off the mark. Sometimes, you just can't cut any corners.

Sometimes, the simplest things are the best.

House brands

House brands of common food and household items are a boon for the budget conscious.
This is mainly in the realm of hypermarkets such as Tesco, Giant and Carrefour. With their huge bargaining power and marketing channels, they are able to extract good deals from producers. The lower price is then passed on to the consumer.

House brands with lower prices generally do not equate lower quality, though the imported items do tend to be superior. There are probably people who fight shy of house brands; do not want to be caught dead in possession of such items for fear of being labelled cheapskates. Such are pitiful souls who don't know how to stretch their ringgit.

My personal exposure to house brands is mostly limited to that of Tesco's. No, I am not paid by them to plug their house brand. A large proportion of the range is actually imported from the UK, and end up selling for substantially less than the equivalent locally made item. How is this possible? Buying power, economies of scale and efficient logistics; remember Tesco has a worldwide presence. Producers would much rather make less per unit and much more overall thru supplying a huge volume of goods; the bigger cake-small slice rationale.

Which brings to mind; how are our local producers able to survive? Given the choice between imported and local with the former having better quality and a lower price to boot, most people would plumb for the imported - halal status not withstanding. Are local producers just plain inefficient or they just greedy in trying to get a bigger margin? Trying to take local consumers for a ride? Or just not aggressive enough. The mediocre quality of their goods hardly puts them in a position to penetrate oversea markets? What about hushed up 'arrangements' between competitors to fix the market?

Think on.............

Light & Deadly

Quick! ditch those aluminium pots and pans you have lying around the house. Sell them for scrap, aluminium fetches a good price nowadays.

Has this guy gone bonkers or something? Sorry to disappoint you, still same old rambler. I didn't go into the scrap recycling business either.

Seriously, aluminium has long been suspected as a contributory factor to the onset of Alzheimer's disease; though not conclusively proven. Best to minimise the risks and keep one's fingers crossed, mine are crossed till they turn blue.

My dear mom is now 84 years young; losing her memory – suspected Alzheimer's.
Praise the Lord that her health is very good indeed. Short term or recent memory is very bad but has photographic recall for yesteryears' happenings. To test her during the last CNY balik kampung, I asked her about her life before I was born. She could recall every detail well; I even managed to extract from her some recipes for comfort food that I sorely missed. During the CNY binge of eating and sitting around, my mind got around thinking what brought about her condition. It is not a simple case of her hard disk getting full. I then recalled that she used a lot of aluminium cookware; stainless steel or tempered glass ones were not generally available then. Lord have mercy, I ate a lot of food (albeit delicious) from those pots and pans too. Am I destined to get Alzheimer's too? This is rather worrisome to say the least. I hope I don't get to the stage where I have to jot down my life's details in a little pocket book or make that a PDA in this digital age. Good thing I haven't been quaffing down fizzy drinks in aluminium cans for a long time. Hmmm, must inspect restaurants' kitchens before I eat there, gotta beat a hasty retreat if I see any aluminium cookware lying around.

Not only kiasu but getting kiasi too.

(kiasu= afraid to lose ; kiasi = afraid to die)

Honesty & Tall Tales

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

So goes Billy Joel's Honesty

Is honesty the best policy? Or rather is honesty the better policy?

Lying can take more than one form; be it simple white lies or blatant outright deception.
One can also be addicted to lying – one is then termed a compulsive liar. Jim Carey's Liar Liar movie is a good showcase of this affliction; his character can't go thru a day without uttering some untruth, his attorney job not withstanding.

I cannot help but feel lying is stressful – both to the liar as well as his audience. Let's start with his audience; those people to whom a person tell lies to- may be apt to call them the victims. Very frequently the victims know full well that the liar is spouting lies but are too kind or courteous to tell him off. I know because I have oft been a victim of lies big and small. Stressful as I have to hold myself in check to keep from confronting a friend who is such a compulsive liar. Four out of every ten statements issuing forth from his mouth are untruths. Mind you, he is not trying to swindle me into a get rich quick scheme or somesuch; not that I have anything to be conned out of. Just lies about everyday things. Except he keeps repeating the same lies on different occasions but with dissimilar basis. We'd known each other for over 10 years and while I am not exactly Einstein, I am not a doofus either so he should know I can't be easily deceived. I just didn't have the heart to confront him with his lies. Ever the thinker; I wondered why he keeps doing it. Is there a psychological need for him to keep lying? Does he actually derive a perverse pleasure in diddling his victims?

When one exhibits a penchant for lying; one should be well equipped with a really good memory besides the first prerequisite of verbal creativity. This is because of the problem of lying to many victims; never sticking to the same tall story line. You can forget what lie you told to which person as well as the exact context of the fib. On the other hand, your victims can recall clearly what you lied about earlier and contrast it with what you have just repeated. Worse, they may get together in your absence and compare notes and conclude that you are just a big fraud. Liar Liar becomes your moniker. Yes, it is all too easy to become a liar of Clintonian dimensions.

Some may say such lying is harmless but the problem is such consummate liars may graduate to worse levels such as swindling or cheating as well as marital infidelity. Whatever it is, the harm has been done. I am especially wary of people whom I know are prone to habitual lying that I take everything they say with a double pinch of salt.

Perhaps it is still better to keep one's mouth shut than open it unnecessarily. If you cannot tell the truth, then shut yer trap. Don't lie.Why bother.

Nothing is opened more by mistake than the mouth. A closed mouth gathers no foot too.

Imported Wives, anyone?

Malaysian men prefer foreign women as wives. I wonder if this is a sign of the times. How many local men have actually married foreign women? Are these men representative of the larger majority of available males?

I certainly would not want a foreign woman for a wife. The cultural clash of two persons from different worlds is not something I want to confront nor grasp with each waking moment.

For the men who took in foreign wives, I wonder what made them plunge into such matrimonial abyss. Is it because they really cannot sucessfully woo a local woman? Is it because the local women available to them are dowdy in appearance and thus deemed undesirable? Is it because the local women are too demanding in their criteria for rating a man as a suitable catch? Or rather, is getting a sweet young lolita as a trophy wife the main attraction here? The local men who took in foreign wives are mostly advanced in age. For the foreign women the decision to 'export' themselves is mainly a marriage of convenience – an escape to a better life. I am sure a matured genteel man is not uppermost in their minds as to how much the dowry her family will get and the monthly remittance thereafter.

For the local women who are left on the shelf (pardon the expression) , perhaps some soul searching may be in order. The saying 'do not judge lest you be judged yourself' certainly rings true here. No doubt, a woman with both a good education and career and/or family fortune will not want to marry below her station But as time passes, one's criteria (whether man or woman) has to be flexible. A woman in her twenties can afford to be choosy, justifiably so I may add. However if she is still single in her late thirties or early forties and still as demanding in her choice of life partner, something is out of whack here. I am not saying she should get hitched to the first man who even glanced her way. Forget the young notions of a rich handsome man to sweep her off her feet. A good man may not be rich nor handsome. At this point in life what both sexes need is a good companion to keep loneliness at bay in later years.

Ditto for the men. Maybe they were too career or business minded in their youth so that marriage was not an option then. Or they were too busy playing the field in younger years to realise that time and tide waited for no man? Or are they just the rejects that no woman in her right mind would want?

Talking to older friends who are single, I noticed a reticence towards matrimony at their age. A common dismissal is – why get married in the face of high and rising divorce rates? To me it is like hoisting a white flag before riding into battle. The game is over before it has had a chance to begin. Do you really wish to be one of the statistics?

I am no sociologist and can offer no researched data to support my views. I have probably opened myself to a lot of brickbats in expounding my views thus. But whatever it is, do not shy away from exploring what opportunity fate or divine providence has planned for you. Tis better to have loved and lost than have never loved at all. Something like that............

Member punya pasal

or – I have friends in high places. In Malaysia it is not what you know but rather who you know. The MO is to tap into whatever resources you can bring to bear if you have a friend in the right place. Even in mundane things such maintenance and water bills.

Yup, you read right. I live in an apartment whose management (developer) threatens to cut off the water supply to residents who are behind by only 2 months' maintenance charges or Rm70 in water bills. Residents who are behind in payments are listed in a notice board located at the lift lobby for all to see; it also announces a monthly 'operasi kunci air' on recaltritrant residents who fail to pay up. I make it a point to to check out the board and once saw that there was a resident who owed 8 months' maintenance and over RM1000 in water charges – this resident was still enjoying uninterrupted water supply. I made an enquiry when paying my bill and was told ' this person has a special arrangement with someone in the management'. He also runs a dilapidated food court or shack near the apartments and the water is piped to it. The cheek of it all! Using water at residential rates piped to a food selling establishment and not paying the bills at the same time.

The resident committee is well nigh useless in fighting for the apartment dwellers' rights; being more interested in organising table tennis or other games. This is why not many people bother to join the committee or attend meetings.

On the same note, this is why strata titles takes umpteen years to be issued. The developer wants to keep on creaming the maintenance income which would be lost once the titles are issued because the residents can then set up their own independent management firm to handle everything. So they drag their feet as the delay serves their purpose. This situation will never improve, so perish those hopes for a speedy change to this.

Just grin and bear it. Meanwhile, try to cultivate some friends in high places. May do you some good.

My swan bigger than your swan.....

Malaysians seem to be pre-occupied with setting some record or other. Biggest this, longest that, highest something or other. Why do we indulge in this? Do we really need such shallow achievements to crow about to all? Are such records of international recognition? Are they a waste of resources that could be more meaningfully expended in other avenues? Are we so insecure that we need such feats to gather attention to ourselves?

A record breaking burger was recently made in Pennsylvania that weighs in at 55.79kg. Now that's a real whopper! A humongous beef patty sandwiched between the halves of an equally giant bun and garnished with pounds of tomatoes and lettuce. Let's see Popeye's friend Wimpy wolf that down. A claim is being filed with the Guinness Book of Records.

That was a creditable burger and record. Not like our local attempts. Longest hot dog 'record' which consisted of hot dogs stacked end to end does not a world record make. Anyone can do this. What will impress is a fantastically long bun holding an equally long sausage. Same with the 'longest' satay grill, just lots of satay grills juxtaposed on adjoining tables. The latest was the kebab attempt; another case of just sambung-sambung. This is pathetic! Maybe this is why we have a local book of records; we can't get into the Guinness. Or is it because Guinness is not halal due to its stout. Whatever.

Our local attempts at setting dubious records are a waste of time, resources and effort. It is better that the money spent be chanelled to charitable purposes and the free time of the participants expended on social work.

Another 6 bites the dust!

Yet another express bus accident, 6 precious lives sacrificed. The bus concerned ploughed into 2 cars that had collided on the highway; then plunged into a ravine and turned turtle. Was the bus running too fast, over the speed limit?

Bad judgement and plain bad luck accounts for most accidents. Buses are getting more powerful with turbocharged engines that enable them to easily overhaul a small car on the straight. Vehicular performance is enhanced each day while driving skills of the average driver do not keep up.

Installation of black boxes for long haul buses remains a bad idea. These data recorders are good only for pinpointing cause and blame in the aftermath of an accident. When innocent victims have gone to the great beyond. They do not prevent mishaps and loss of lives. What should have been done was to adopt the speed limiter similar to that found in high end cars which limits to them to 250kph. In the case of buses, the limit should be 90kph, yet we can frequently see them flashing past at 130kph or more on the expressways.

I wonder if the relevant agencies have the means to download and expertise to analyse the black box's recorded data. Isn't it much better to prevent the disease than having to bother about the cure later? In this case, there is really no cure. People have been needlessly sacrificed and lives wrecked.

Massive re-thinking is needed here. It is much easier to prescribe equipment changes by law than to instill safer driving attitudes. No amount of exhorting of safe driving is going to do any good if recalcitrant drivers are hell bent on proving they are better than Schumacher or Alonso.

Meanwhile, for longevity perhaps a course on defensive driving would be a good investment.

Fries with that??

Fast food advertisements to be banned ??!! Reason? To promote a healthier lifestyle among Malaysians. This will only hold true if a blanket ban across all media channels such as television, radio, printed media, etc. is imposed. No point if only RTM bans such ads or on children programs. Fast food companies cry foul, saying their food is healthy and balanced while at the same time casting aspersions on other local foods such as nasi lemak, roti canai, et al.

I am not overly perturbed by this scenario; no issue really as I prefer the local stuff. What I cannnot fathom is why nobody has asked whether fast food such as burgers and fried chicken gives one value for money. At about RM9-10 per person for a burger set or 2-piece chicken set ( both with fries & soda); it certainly ain't cheap.

I remember when I first tried a large burger over a score years ago (that pretty much tells you my age) the meat patty used to be thicker. There was more to bit into and the cheese slice tasted more like real cheese. Now the meat patty looks and tastes more like a soggy disc of dark cardboard. I suppose corners had to be cut to keeps costs down and profits up so we can tell everyone our burgers are the cheapest in the world. The cheese, sigh, tastes just like something from the lab - plasticky. I have always considered ready sliced cheese as plastic. Jamie Oliver showed how to make nice beef patties recently on tv, may be a recipe on his website.

I also recall that the fried chicken pieces used to be larger than now. When it first started, the fried chicken chain said that the birds had to be of a minimum weight (this I can't recall, can anybody throw some light on this?) in order to be used. Common cow (or chicken?) sense will tell us that a bird of any size will yield the same 8 parts – 2 drumsticks, 2 wings, 2 breasts and 2 flanks; only the said parts will be smaller or bigger. Using a smaller bird will definitely yield more profit, you don't need to be a rocket scientist to grasp this logic. My observations were confirmed during one of my visits to Singapore when I tried the fried chicken there (from the same named chain) – the chicken parts were definitely larger than what we get here. Mind you, the chooks used there come from our dear beloved country. Jeez, perhaps I shouldn't be using my singdollars just to satisfy this curiosity of mine, but I did. And came away that I was right after all. Now I steer a wide berth from such fried chicken, preferring to rustle up a roast chicky from an old recipe - can gorge to my satisfaction without feeling shortchanged.

A new fish burger was widely advertised, the ad showing a humongous fish patty that was larger than the bun that held it. Supposed to be substantially larger than the competition's fish burger. Damn fool that I was; I tried it and came away feeling diddled. The bloody bun was larger than the fish patty!. Wtf? Talk about deceptive advertising.

Pizzas. Mama mia, how can any self respecting Italiano bring himself to eat our local pizzas?. Do the maths and you'd conclude that it is a grossly overpriced pretender to the real thing. At about RM30 per large pizza, what do you get? A large flour disc with tomato paste, mozarella cheese, vege/fruit and meat toppings. The total meat protein content comes to about 2-fingers worth per pizza. The cheese is probably fake mozarella as the real McCoy is mucho expensive. The profit margin must be mind boggling. Which is why they can give you a one-for-one offer during promotions and still make a good profit. Started you thinking, right? But make your own choice, nothing stops you from blowing away your hard earned moolah if you are addicted to it. Free country.

I personally prefer to pig out at the restaurant run by a large furniture chain store in Mutiara Damansara. Not naming it cos I am not paid to advertise it but I guess you know as much. For under RM20, I can enjoy meat balls or poached salmon, with dessert and unlimited coffee refills (actually limited by only your bladder and your thick skin in making repeated trips to the dispensing machine, blush). If appetite permits, grab a platter of smoked salmon too. Atmosphere is so-so being more of a diner than a real upmarket place. Just the place to bring a buddy for a tete-a- tete. Healthier food too. Kiasu bugger that I am, I do sometimes go for breakfast there. 9 to 11am. If you scramble (right kiasu term to use, nyuk) there by 10am, RM2 (read two) buys you a plate of nasi lemak with sotong or 2 small pieces of chicky or you can opt for the boiled eggs set with toast/buns. Coffee (or rather the cup) is gratis before 10am. They charge RM3 for the coffee after 10am. I shan't disclose how many cuppa coffees I gulp down. You can guess. Talk about the cheapest brekky in town, it doesn't get any better than this. I hope they don't get any bright ideas about raising prices after this. Lotsa people will curse me for my big mouth.

So make your pick. One man's meat is another's poison. Bon appetit!

Run for dem hills!

Earthquakes and tremors – these are words we hear and read about almost every month lately. Human lives remain the main casualties whenever and wherever such events happen. Malaysia has been rather fortunate thus far, its casualties in the 2004 Asian tsunami were much lower than neighbouring nations such as Indonesia and Thailand.

More than 2 years have passed. Are we prepared to react and cope should worse disasters come knocking on our doors? Are our emergency response for rescue and medical support up to scratch?

Rescuing people from massive floods and then housing them in ad-hoc relief centres is different than coping with a major earthquake or tidal wave. Injury and death will be horrendously higher in the latter scenarios. We have been very lucky that such disasters that befell our neighbours have left us relatively unscathed. This run of good luck may not hold; so let's not get complacent. We should get cracking to prepare well for when such disasters really occur, not if.

Can our fire and rescue services cope with casualties running into the thousands if major highrise buildings in urban centres collapsed in an earthquake? Victims need to be extricated quickly and sent to medical centres for treatment. Road traffic will be choked to a standstill; can enough helicopters be mobilised to shuttle victims swiftly to hospitals? How are personnel from elsewhere in the country to be deployed quickly to affected areas?

In a major earthquake, landline and mobile telephone services will no doubt be disrupted. Will mobile radio communications be adequate in providing efficient information exchange between the disaster agencies involved? Surely we are not going to use semaphore or smoke signals.

Government hospitals will no doubt be inundated with casualties; thereby having to rope in the private medical centres as well. Has any prior arrangements been made with these private centres for requisition of their facilites? Do we have sufficient ambulances? Do we have field hospitals similar to that used by armed forces that can be speedily set up in disaster zones? Have we procured sufficient equipment such as rescue baskets and stretchers? What about medications and dressings?

I really dread when the writing is on the wall - a major disaster strikes our fine land and we can't cope. Then what? Wait for foreign relief agencies or volunteers to come and assist? To do what? Collect dead bodies?

Get cracking, no more pussy footing, wake up!